one of many in the wild, wild net.

So I’ve been hanging out with cops last couple of days. I’ve gone out with a couple of them twice last week, usually filling the role of DD since I don’t drink. I dunno, but I find it unfulfilling. I hate to be the party pooper, but I would rather just sit in the back quietly and watch everyone get plastered rather than be with those getting plastered… is that wrong? I like my nights to be quiet, I like being observant.

TODAY’S FORECAST: SHIT.

According to weather.com: Light Snow, -8°F (feels like -23°F) high of 15°F.

The cold is penetrating the wall and door to the outside. The cold is chilling my clothes.

Oh well. Last day off before I start blah blah blah or do stuff I can’t talk about starting… some time in the indeterminate future.

Think OPSEC!

-TJ

Sometimes life does kinda suck.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it for the most part. I try not to take my life for granted and I live each day in such a way that before I go to bed I can reflect on it and be proud of something I accomplished.

But sometimes things happen, and they suck, but it’s a part of life as well.

Today I want to talk about my heart. I know I am prone to being way passionate about one thing, then mellow as time goes on. My friends will probably vouch for this as being one of many flaws in my character. I think the only thing I have been passionate about that I have maintained the same energy for is my service in the military. Well, I must confess… I think my passion for Let is finally on the wane. I feel like a rotten human being for admitting this, but this is the reality. Maybe I am a rotten human being for feeling this way, but I guess in this case I am rotten not for changing my mind, but for not being able to see this coming from the outset. I’m going to have to carefully deconstruct my relationship with Let. I just want to be friends.

GAH! I can’t believe I thought that! I hate those words, and I hated it when the girls would tell me that back in high school. Let’s face facts, ladies and gents… I have chased, and I have been rejected… alot. Then for the past few years I stopped really chasing, because I lost hope in myself. I had nothing to be proud of at the time, or so I thought.

But I don’t know… these days I have what I would hope to be considered a healthy amount of self-pride. I guess it’s because now I feel like I’m doing something with my life. That pride is finding its way into other aspects of my life, and my outlook on life is no exception. Instead of thinking “I can’t”, I think in terms of “I can.”

So here’s the spillover…. “I can”… find a girl that’s a better match for me. In my discussions with my girl, I’ve come to the conclusion that she is going to try to like whatever I like. I think that after talking with a girl for 6 months straight I should know alot about her, but all I know is that she loves me and will support whatever I want to do. But I think our relationship is too much focused on me–TJ. And I find it curious how she will try whatever I do, but has not yet suggested anything that she wanted me to try.

I dunno. I think our relationship lacked depth. The more I think about it, the more over I realize I am this girl… which sucks. But like I said, I guess this is one of those sucky parts of life.

I dunno. I’ll probably be sad for a while, because I hate to be the dumper. But time marches on, and I need to look forward to what’s next.

I feel awful.

-TJ

Thinking about Iran.

Why can’t we all just get along? Hold hate in your heart, and your world will never be alright. Hold deathly hate in your heart and your world will be full of blood and misery.

That’s all I’ve got to say for now. All I can do is continue to hold this light of hope I carry with me on a day-to-day basis.

I am the man that children will one day be taught about.

That’s the way I think… that’s the way I’ve got to think. I’m setting the examples, standards, and goals for those who will come after me, whether I want to or not. I would rather be part of the history that changed the world for the better, instead of part of the history that dragged it down for the worse.

So I’m going to live my life as a defensive Armsman out of necessity, until the day I can become a Peacemaker without the need for weapons. In my heart I can do it for God, but I also need to hold another purpose in my mind… I do it for mankind. Because those who don’t believe in “my” God will not understand if I act in His name, but they will understand if they can believe I do what I do because I just want noone to kill anyone else… something I believe in, regardless of whether or not that position comes from my faith.

And so it becomes… I will fight to the death until those people who want to kill us desire that no longer… or breathe no longer. I was born in an age where some people see death of others as their *only* means to their ends, so I guess if I want to win at the game, I need to play it.

-TJ

Sigh.

I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I so don’t want to be at work right now, and I don’t feel like doing anything.

But I think about it… and I’m wearing the colors of the United States Air Force. Why? Think somemore… I signed up because I like being able to say what I want and not be thrown in jail for saying or thinking the wrong thing. I signed up because even though I want world peace, until the day comes that no one wants to attack us anymore someone needs to take up the shield and sword and protect those who can’t protect themselves.

I signed up because deep down, I know this is what God wanted me to do with my gifts. The alternative was to make other people money, but now I’m saving lives.

I guess on days like this, I just have to remember why I am here, and what my goals are in the short time I have here in the military.

-TJ

Beat that ass! That’s what I did today. This Chase lawsuit is now on hold thanks to just a little bit of footwork on my part. Here’s what I did:

- I filed a *courtesy* police report with Colorado Springs PD Financial Crimes unit and directed them to mail or fax it to LAPD Identity Theft Division as per the directions of the detective in Los Angeles that helped me out.

- I faxed copies of my military records, a copy of the original credit card application I got from Chase bank, and a police report I filed today to begin the fraud investigation to CFG (the collection agency).

And now I’m sitting in the clear! Next step: Sue Chase bank. They determined my “identity” solely on my SSN and first and last names. They didn’t even have my correct Date of Birth or Mother’s Maiden Name in their records and somehow they let this account open up. OBVIOUSLY someone didn’t verify their shit, which means CHA-CHING for me! Hey Chase! How about YOU pay ME!

Ah well. Time to change into civies and relax. I didn’t do shit at work, but it was a long day regardless.

-TJ

That’s right, boys and girls! I’m being sued by Chase bank for ~$1,000. But I’m not gonna pay a dime.

I received a call from Credit Financial Group letting me know that Chase bank is suing me for the balance of $1,000, my apparent debt to them for a credit card account.

Of course, I never applied for anything with Chase in my life. So here we go folks… my first bout with identity theft!

Thankfully I think I have an easy case here. The application is dated 24 Oct ‘04 and addressed to me at an old apartment in Los Angeles, CA, but on THAT day I was crying my eyes out at my first church visit in Lackland AFB, TX, and probably folding t-shirts, socks, and underwear in the dorm. I was at basic training when this account was openned, so I’m pretty sure I can get myself in the clear.

However, I’m giving the government all the information I can muster regarding my whereabouts and my hypotheses on what happened. Ideally we’ll catch the guy (or girl) who perpetrated this crime and flog him (or her) severely, but really as long as I can take that item off my credit report without having to pay a cent to any lawyer or whatever, seeing as how I can verify my whereabouts when the application was filled out in my name, I’d be happy.

Also, I attended a meeting for the base Asian Pacific Heritage Association… apparently this association has only 3 main people in it, two of whom I met today. I think I will try to get majorly involved in this, seeing as how it’s mandated by the base to have this committee but no one seems to want to take it up. I hope all that time I spent in club Kaibigan back at Whitney will pay off… and apparently APHA is not yet chartered with base, so I think I’ll be working on getting that up as well. I don’t think that would be a bad EPR bullet to charter a mandated base function.

Also… I still have this website I need to get stood up for FTAC/PDC. I need to get crackin’ on this CBT that I need to take… this is standing in the way of me getting this shit accomplished.

AND… I have to find time to study for and take some tests so I can get credit for my CCAF degree… that’ll be one more punch-dummy goal knocked down on my way to the top!

SO MUCH TO DO! AHHH!

Anyway, that’s the what’s up what’s up with me. I’ve got my hands dipped in only a few pots, but I hope to get my hands dipped deep in them. Quality vs Quantity, I always say.

-TJ