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Okay, so I was not really planning on posting today, but… I think just for historical purposes I should write down what happened and my resulting state of mind, which is happy.

So I get home, and I have a voicemail from the girl I k16m-l. She says she needs help with something, so I help out for about 2 hours.

Result? Un-inhibited peace of mind. As opposed to OMFGSHELIKESMEIWONDERWHENWE’LLSEEEACHOTHERAGAINOMGOMGOMG. Yeah. I’m going “cool”, with a smile and a good head nod. I’m following my conscience, not giving in to impatience… not taking for granted that things may actually go my way for once. But at least that nagging doubt I had yesterday is now gone, and the voice of reason that kept that nagging doubt from growing into something unbearable yesterday won out… the one that said “Hey, she might play with him a little, but she called you today.” I expected nothing, but I got what I wanted. *I expected nothing, but I got what I wanted.* I choose those words very deliberately, because that describes exactly what happend and what led to my current peace of mind.

Anyway, now I’m thinking: Damn. I’ve written so much about my k16m-l that I hope she doesn’t find this anytime soon. None of the girls have been interested enough to find my myspace profile, which is the only place other than a google search for “olaes” that links to this site, so so far so good.

Time to get ready for tomorrow.

-TJ