Further thought Click here to comment

Always in the mornings I’m by myself. When I wake up, I’m in a small room, left to myself until I get to work. When I’m by myself, that’s when I’m “myself” the most.

What do I think of when I’m by myself?

- How am I doing in life?
- Am I doing okay?
- Am I really living my life to its fullest potential?

And that’s it. My video games are escapes, and I think so is my search for a girlfriend… that’s one of my procrastinating/escapist activities as well.

What I’m getting to is, I’ve just had a moment of crystal clarity. The planets aligned with the sun just right and focused energy on a single spot in my brain… that’s how I feel right now. I’m pacing about because I’m trying to come to terms with this new realization.

I know what I need to be doing.

I need to focus on myself. I need to get myself better, become the person I was destined to be, and I need to stop bullshitting myself with endless procrastinations.

I need to finish my software project.

I need to apply to OTS.

I need to get my masters degree

I need to figure out what my next steps are going to be.

I need to improve my health and live as long as possible… this life is a gift from God, and once I realized that, I decided that I want to use this gift to the fullest extent possible. Stretch it out, and fill it with as many solid good deeds that benefit my family, my nation, my people, everyone, everything, everywhere.

I need to get started.

-TJ

Before I forget Click here to comment

I had a dream… here’s what I remember.

I went to a convention like E3, but for some reason we were all camping inside the convention hall. Everyone brought their laptops, and there was one socially needy guy who kept begging everyone to gather around his laptop and watch various cartoons, the two we saw was an episode of Spongebob Squarepants and the Simpsons. The Simpsons episode we watched, the clip we saw had a Catholic priest that was a parody of my boss at work.

Also, I saw Lisa Kim there. We made up, and (for whatever reason) we told each other we still liked each other, but that it would take time to get over old wounds. She threw some kind of anime book into a busy street, and the book got run over by a car, but then she was like “ah… crap” so we both went back into the street and got the book back.

So we went back to the convention center together, and were intent on sleeping (just sleeping) in the same cot for the night. But we never got that far because the retarded kid summoned everyone to watch cartoons on his laptop again, for the simpsons episode.

Weird dream.

-TJ