One more half-rational thing
To (you): I think I’m past the initial initial passion of finding new love… I’d like to try to build something up with you, because before I was unconsciously trying to fit you into the mould I had pictured the first time I paid attention to you. It’s not fair to you that I’m learning to deal with the prospect of a relationship (not even a relationship, but just the prospect of having one) and I met you. I guess it’s not fair to me either, because I really do like you, and I wish I were better equipped to handle my emotions regarding you and me. It would have been clutch if we had met later in life, with me more seasoned with handling my emotions.
But no sense in crying over spilled milk. I think I’m ready to meet you again, to meet the person I’m going to find in you, rather than the person I want to find in you.
-TJ
(Deeply personal? Damn right… I’m tackling more than one fear here. I’m still thinking efficiency :).)
22. November 2006 at 5:07 pm :
It’s interesting how you associate action to a form of prayer — or doing things as way of praying. I believe that ‘prayer’ is commonly used with the meaning of communication, whereas righteous actions are a form of worship.
I’m not sure if you meant to make that distinction.
By your sentence, “Some people pray by…”, I cannot distinguish whether you are using the listed actions as symbolism for prayer (communication) or if you’re saying that those actions are themselves a form of prayer.
I don’t mean to be picking at your word choice, but it just wasn’t apparent what you were trying to say. What I get from it, though, is summarized as:
“Some people follow the actions of prayer, but righteous characteristics are not reflected in other parts of their lifestyle. However, you want to focus on having a consistently righteous character.”
Lemme know how the book is.
22. November 2006 at 5:44 pm :
I didn’t make that distinction. I am saying that action is praying. And I guess you separate prayer from worship, but it’s the same thing to me.
I make that connection because I view prayer as communication to God. But as God is always watching me and watching what I do, I think of my actions and decisions as my prayers, since I communicate to God my love for Him by making choices that are good. I know that sometimes prayers are used to ask God for things, like “Please heal soandso.” There are people out there who pray so hard for things like the cure to cancer that they become geneticists and actively work toward the goal of discovering the cure.
For instance, building this application the base org asked me to build, totally free of charge, is me praying to God. I’m thanking God for the talent I was given and the nudges he gave me all through college by paying the favor forward, so to speak. So instead of me saying “Thank you God for blah blah blah” then going home and watching TV for the rest of the day, I use the skills that I’ve been blessed with to further His domain. I apply for jobs where I can fight terrorists that try to use cyberspace as a front for their war. That’s how I pray.
For anyone reading this and thinking I’m crazy or feeling otherwise slightly uncomfortable, that’s okay… I only believe this for myself. Some people feel that they worked hard to get where they are or learn what they’ve learned, and that’s fine. Hard work gets results, and that’s a fact. I just say this about myself because on the norm I don’t feel like I’ve worked hard to know all that much about what I know, say coding or locations or whatever… but somehow I know what to type when I need to type it, or I know where to look or how to get the information I need. Looking back at my life, this was the case even before Google came into existence.
23. November 2006 at 2:38 am :
For clarification on my own part, I do not believe that prayer is separate from worship. In fact, prayer is a form of worship. Action, to me, is not prayer, but rather, worship. Reference to prayer in the Bible commonly refers to communicating with God with words and thoughts. Check out Luke 11:2 when a disciple asks Jesus to teach them to pray, and He responds with that which we call the Lord’s Prayer. Or Matthew 26:39 when Jesus prays in the garden before his crucifixion. It is verbal communication. Worship, however, is commonly used when action is implied.
Just wanted to get my stance straight. Good work, and keep it up.
23. November 2006 at 2:31 pm :
I just don’t affix “prayer” and “communication” to strictly verbal/mental channels.
-TJ